splitting infinitives
October 26, 2010
i’ve been told i’m a powerful pull: me and adventure and rock climbing — we are a team, together.
matt asks the exact opposite: how can i tell if this new-found happiness is from you or the activities? i think this whole time he has meant: i don’t like you, i like climbing. and i don’t like waking up this early to go find new trails in the CA hills.
this has been hard for me to understand, hard for me to sink into this division between a person still and a person moving. are her actions objects that fall from her limbs and out of her sleeves? an infinite birthing — spinning moons off into an ether — creating worlds of life by a dynamic mother.
The separation seems unfair. If the new planets remain in orbit, can I still call them sun? Can they keep my last name?
The immediate relief of yesterday seems replaced by stomach flips and complete lack of mental discipline. I’m going to go get some chocolate milk. Maybe pace furiously towards the hills that surround us on all sides. I can’t point myself towards homework so I’ll point to calories and circular gestures. The hands will go around to follow my head. The pain is going to lose this chase.
