its 1am and i’m eating giant leaves of a giant, paisley shaped cabbage matt found for me on the stanford community farm. i drove home in semi-dry heaves after dropping him off. i was heaving somewhere between happy and terrified. you have just witnessed a break-up and a re-union. was that too fast?  did you blink?  did you miss it?

my heart is going to explode in a continuous burst of  explosion. i can’t remember what my immediate future will look like as this has changed a million times today. the rug has been swept out from under and then replaced, then pulled, then rearranged, then then then lit on fire. my frame feels small — the ribs cannot hold. i really, really can’t sleep.

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